How to strengthen your thinking?

Change your mind, change your life.

POOR THINKING

Before I start to say something, I have a story to tell you. It is the story of Rinku Sawhney. She belongs to a Punjabi middle-class family in Kashmir.

She was the firstborn, her parents were expecting a son, but then she came. So her birth was not a matter of celebration. Her parents were disappointed to see a girl. Since she was born as a girl, one day Sawhney’s father said to her, “During my early childhood that you were born, I was so disappointed that I could my mustache down.”

Her father thought that when she was exposed to it while growing up was that a girl was a liability that a girl did not have the ability to carry the family lineage forward. And when she understood these all things, she used to wonder. Why was she not welcome when she was born? Why had she conceded a liability? What did this really mean?

So that moment she was born right from the arrival on this planet. She faced rejection and she wanted acceptance and the way for her to get that acceptance was to do whatever her parents wanted.

Due to their own circumstances, her parents couldn’t complete their education. So the only dream they had for her was to study well, to shine in academics, to get into a nice secure reasonable job, and live a secure life. And of course, getting married was their dream for her, and their dream was her dream. So, she ended up becoming a recluse, a social recluse, a longer, and a complete Bookworm. So, the belief, that she was fat. She was ugly, she was a liability, she was unwanted all these beliefs made her feel inferior, made her feel that she was not good enough. She had this ingrained belief in herself that she was not. She was a loser. Nobody can accept her for she was. She remembers that one incident, which happened when she was in the second standard- There was this English recitation test happening in her class. In English, she was so weak because she came from a Punjabi family. There, they speak in Hindi. So she was not very well at English. She was really scared and the recitation test started. She started reciting the poem and kept fumbling. She kept forgetting the lines. She was stuttering, her teacher got so pissed off. Her teacher started shouting at Sawhney and the teacher started scolding her. Her teacher said to Sawhney, “You are such a loser. You can’t utter a single English word properly. You can never speak English. You can never write good English. And speaking in public is something never tries.”

As if all of these were not enough, she called one of her favorite students and asked her to Sawhney tightly on her face. This was so humiliating and it shattered her self-esteem. Her self-confidence liked nothing. That was the time when she started believing when this belief got more reinforced that. She was not good enough. She was a loser. She was good for nothing. So she ended up becoming a recluse even more further cocooned herself and she focuses on studying and getting good grades because she was good at studies. And this was the only way she can get acceptance from the world.

After completing her studies. She got a job. She was being successful. She was accomplished. But in spite of all these accomplishments, there was a strange void, which she used to feel inside of her, she was not enjoying the job that she was doing the profession that she was in. She always felt this is not what she really. To do there is something else that she has to do but she didn’t know what that something is. Rinku didn’t have the answer at that point in time. So she decided to quit her job. She went to find her happiness.

One day she had seen the news, a young man who got hot by a truck. He was lying in a pool of blood on the road and people were clicking pictures. People were making videos and nobody went there and helps that poor man. And that old man ended up dying.

She compared her to those people who didn’t help the Oldman. She felt guilt and she needed to be a unique one from those people. Actually, it was the turning point in her life. She started questioning herself and that was when she got an opportunity, community to work with NGO as a part-time volunteer. This was the new beginning of her life. This was the new turn in life.

And started realizing her real potentials and she found out that was her passion. Contributing selflessly was her passion. She was naturally good at counseling. People started liking her sessions. They started demanding more familiar, for her sessions and people were looking forward to meeting her, they shared their deep pains with her. This was the self-discovery journey for her. A journey of profound new insight. She started realizing okay if she could motivate these people if there’re looking up to her for inspiration, for the hope that means she was not what she thought about.

This shifted her thinking and emotions about herself. She didn’t know when it actually happened but it was a gradual process and she could start seeing herself. She started to respect herself for who she was.

Now she is a prominent English writer, she published many books.

This was the girl who was abused by the teacher, this was the unwanted girl.

But now she is a successful entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and author.

She did that work which made her happy.

What do you understand from her story? Do you learn anything? Do you get the answer to your question? I get the answer, now it’s your time to find the answer from this story.

No matter, what people think about us, no matter what they are saying. Try to listen to your inner voice. Do that work which makes you feel happy. Try to learn to do love your work. Love is the best way to develop our mindset. Love is to give contribute unconditionally.

Don’t give the excuse that we casn’t do it. Excuse word is not included in successful person dictionary. Convert this word to your work, say that I can do it. If I can’t find any solution then I try to solve it another way but I can do it anyway.

If you have this mindset, no one can stop you. You will come out from your poor thinking.